As we near the apex of the Pyramid, we come to realize that the second to last tier is so hard to accomplish in all aspects of our lives. That, perhaps, is a good thing. If it were easy to achieve “Poise” and “Confidence” the pyramid might not even exist- we would seemingly achieve success without much effort.
When I think of people with Poise, I always think of someone who walks tall, has presence and knows what they want to accomplish. You can see it in his eyes. On the flip side, it is easy to recognize someone without it. There is a lack of discipline, work ethic and a constant look of concern, worry, or question.
Wooden believes that poise comes as a “natural result of the personal qualities that we put in place below (the blocks below).” His definition is simple: be yourself.
However, I think it needs to be clarified. Often times we accept negative or bad behavior as “just being you”. It’s similar to when we hear people justify their actions that produce negative outcomes as “hey, I’m just being me. If you don’t like it, leave.” But to be successful we need to understand that a negative outcome and deliberately trying to be negative, is not just being you, it is disastrous for our world, community, school and team. We should not accept negative behavior because it perpetuates the many wounds that so many people have worked hard to heal. In other words, if you hear a person put down a particular group or make degrading remarks to others, do you accept it as “just being themselves” or do you stand up to the negative, not letting it perpetuate?
Another way I look at poise is really asking yourself what your vision is? What are you trying to achieve? What do you focus on when in times of pressure? It goes back to all of our discussions from the past. If you constantly talk about “the negative” it will find you. It will haunt you. It will ring in your ears in times of stress. Showing poise means you are more worried about what you can DO for your team, your friends, your family, rather than what they can do for you. This holds true in all aspects of life. Relationships, friendships, partnerships can not survive if you put yourself first. You must ask yourself what you can do for the other person rather than what they do for you. You aren’t worried about always being right. You learn to be comfortable with yourself and be at ease in any situation not matter how difficult.
Poise shows that you can stand up for what is right while you know that your convictions, values, beliefs and qualities are what is best for team and yourself. You are working toward the ultimate goal of being the best that you can be. Poise is not something you pursue; it is something that you embody each and every day. You or others may see you as a leader, but you aren’t a leader if you don’t have poise: you don’t trust yourself. You don’t worry about controlling others- your actions and words are inspiring. At the same time, you learn confidence. You learn that through your natural actions and beliefs, you do not need approval from others. By not needing approval or worrying about other people’s expectations, you remove yourself away from fear controlling your life. When you remove yourself from fear, you achieve confidence, the next secret to success.
To be clear, each box is specifically placed. Look at the entire left side of the pyramid. See how they are all connected. What sort of pattern do you recognize? How are they building blocks on each other?
Please email me (leishaclendenen@yahoo.com) your thoughts on this next block. It is so important to talk about it and share.
For all of you who willingly (without being forced to in Coach Peters’ classroom) wrote to me regarding team spirit, I was honored to respond to you. For the rest of you, you aren’t there yet.
You can not achieve poise without team spirit.
Written by Leisha Clendenen
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