Sunday, May 10, 2009

My Mom


15 years ago this June, my mom died of cancer. Today is Mothers Day, and so I'm naturally thinking of that ugly time and hideous desease that took my beautiful mom's life. She was 54.

I can say that the years since her passing have allowed me to reflect more on her legacy than on the sting of her death. She was a great mom.

As my sisters and I went through school, I remember asking her once what she majored in in college. She was quick to reply that she studied "Home Economics". When I asked why, she said with great certitude, "So that I could become a better mother." Though she adored my dad, she loved us three kids incredibly. I never doubted that.

I think I got much of my tenacity and drive from my dad. He was a hard worker, like the Energizer Bunny of a few years ago, my dad just seemed to keep "going and going and going." I'm sometimes caught up with that spirit in my work and life.

But my mom was a softy. She could cry on a dime, was very tenderhearted and filled with compassion. I'm hopeful that there is some of that in me. I know this for sure, one of my mom's favorite pasttimes was drinking coffee and enjoying a scone. Sadly, she died before Starbucks was a ubiquitous establishment. She would have loved Starbucks. I think of her often when I can sneak away for a Saturday morning cup of coffee there. I order a scone in her honor.

More than coffee and fattening foods though, my mom (and dad for that matter) instilled in me the importance of leaving an impact. To live life not in pursuit of selfish endeavors but rather in things that last. It was at her direction that I was taught to be kind to my sisters, even when I didn't want to be. It was her constant smile, even when life was hard, that has reminded me to be joyful. It was her sacrifice of part time work -- "so I can be home when you get home from school" -- that taught me that material gain matters little. She modeled faith, hope and love like well-worn hand-me-downs; on loan from her parents, she passed them on to me. It was at her side that I was taught the faith that grows in me still. I hope to pass it on to the granddaughter she never got to meet.

My mom lived a very simple life, one of deep and abiding faith, love for her husband and her kids, and an appreciation for the things that really mattered. She was terribly grounded, in a very good way. I'm thankful that I had the opportunity to be raised in the home she made, for at heart, she was the quintessential homemaker.

Having worked part time at a bank and devoted herself to teaching Sunday school and the raising of her three kids, one might have understood had her death been humbly noted by a few people. What a jolt it was to see close to 1500 people attend her memorial service. I stammered and choked my way through a few remarks about my mom, all the while wondering, "how could a woman of such simple means have had such an impact on so many people?"

I guess I'm still trying to come to a clear answer on that, but I'm closer than ever to understanding the truth behind this statement, "that those who wish to find their lives must lose them."

My mom had, in a sense, "lost her life" long before she had lost it. She had "lost herself" in others, in giving sacrificially, in serving her family and God. She was a very special person.

Athletes, I hope you'll pause in the busyness of being a teenager to consider what your mom does for you. No mom is perfect, mine certainly had her flaws. But most moms work really hard to nurture, guide, instruct and push their kids to increase their opportunities in life.

I know mine did. And for that I'm very grateful.

1 comment:

  1. What a beautiful, heart-wrenching post this is, Brad. You always write well, but these words about your mother, spoken straight from your heart, are especially good. Very poignant.

    You mom sounds like she was an incredibly good person who loved her roles of mother and home-maker. You are a lucky man to have been raised by such a genuine soul.

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